Ex-lovers can still be friends after a breakup

Ex-lovers cannot still be friends after a breakup

　　我们的观点是，分手后前任仍可以成为朋友。因为“恋人”这一身份意味着特殊的情感联结，并非普通的熟人或泛泛之交。就像我们常问自己：微信通讯录里有上千个联系人，但真正能称之为朋友的或许只有十到二十个。你的前任正是这千分之一中的一个，是曾与你共度许多时光、对你而言无比重要的人。为何要因分手而彻底断绝联系，反而去维系那些通讯录里的“僵尸好友”呢？

　　其次，朋友可以成为资源。如果前任拥有你当前需要的工作机会或资源，为何要将其弃之不用？在这个资源稀缺、竞争激烈的社会，不应轻易放弃任何能助你成长、让你在社会中 thrive 的人。

　　最后，从情感角度而言，在漫长的人生中，你或许爱过不止一个人。如果能与至少一位前任成为朋友，为何不尝试呢？即使不能与所有前任都保持友谊，至少与其中一位和解，也是一种对过往情感的尊重与释然。

　　想一想，气定神闲，谈笑间灰飞烟灭。羽扇纶巾，不是惊鸿，谈笑间强弩灰飞烟灭。我记一下这个，气度差不多了，也很棒，不同。

　　From the process. Second, it's not me. I just came back. OK, we can be friends and we should be friends because as our members, we produce the same feelings. Since we found the intimate relationship, we should at least have an understanding of friendship. At least have an understanding of friendship. You don't have to be like a best friend and stay together all the time, just like a normal friendship. Maybe you live at a lot of distance, maybe when you say hi to your circle of friends, when you see each other you say hi and hang out together, you just like a mutual friend. It doesn't have to be very intimate. And if you cannot be friends, that means you still have feelings for ex-lovers, and that is the thing you have to fix. That's kind of like a totally different thing. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be friends or anything because if you want to, if you seem to have broken up already, that means you have broken up already, so you shouldn't be together. And if you have thoughts that, okay, I'm going to be with him or her, and it's going to be a problem, then you need to work on that.

　　Another thing I want to mention from my personal experience: my ex from my country, she already got married a long time ago and has a beautiful family. Yeah, but it's like we talk once or twice a year, maybe when I go back. We are both in different countries, so we don't contact each other very often, but we appreciate each other. We send each other messages, but we appreciate each other that you have a really good life, you have a good family. So this kind of thank you, thank you.

　　Second speaker from the ex-lovers cannot.

　　The front rajsh mentioned he meanly defined the meaning of France, maybe long distance and maybe a few talks, but I think for the xlor and friends there is a totally different. For friends, you can maybe, I mean true friends, you can talk about those things you can. Tell about your happiness and unhappiness, and they are really something like even good friends will be family part for extra hours. I think previously maybe you have hoped you can be a family, but finally you do not become a family, so I think there will also be some bad memories that will interrupt you from connecting with her or him. And also, I just mentioned there is a franchise EXO level who already have babies and only have one-time connection in one year. So I think I don't think that's within the definition of brand. So rather dish also important mentioned if you still have the feeling that that do not mean that one is xlava, but I don't agree with this one because you what is xlava means there is still some PA between you and her before. So for this moment, even if you want to abandon all the memories, you want to delete memory, but the memory is still there. Even with time, maybe some moments in the future, you still recall the memory, the time you are with him or her.

　　So I think always you with numbers, you cannot right thankyou come on friend because friend we talk with each other every day, no, we do not share every intimate moments with you, we do not. I have very, we chat yes, but I never what I to our relationship considering as a friend that is also a friendship, maybe just as I said, we do not have intimate. Maybe just as I said, we do not have intimate relationship, we just have a friendly conversation. I think of we have different definitions for I mean front here is really very very close to friend, not that kind of. And I have a question: have you I think the two friend maybe and have the I have happiness you can first time talk with him, but obviously when you have happiness you are not contacting with me because I do not receive your wechat after the club. Right, well, I think you refuse to admit the definition of friend. I think the topic clearly mentions as a friend, as a normal friendship means that we have a friendly conversation, we share some things in life, but an intimate. Conversation we share some things in life, but an intimate friends means we do all many things together which we are ruling out of this relationship, okay? I just think there is a difference between close friends and remote friends, and for this case, I just think that it is very close friends, not lovers.

　　From process different强最强律师上加油，加不了加油。I think that can be the friends firstly will become you may from friends to become an action hour because you back to the reason for the distance or for the further you don't be reasonable or be suitable for the relationship. Oh, so when you back, you have the soul many a great memories. ASA other side say that so the great memories you just want to drop it, it is here and it never goes. So as we already have this, why not to pick it up and you become friends again? You will have many some other good memories, and as the world said, "have one friends, have one more road" (多个朋友，多条路). So why not to become to ask the as to become to become your friends? Um, he act our friends has so many great memories and so many common identities. It is very suitable at the friends. So uh, we don't refuse to uh if you have the uh reasonable distance, it is good to have a ex love because you already move on and has the many chance to to become a rest again. Maybe you also have a chance would have a project. Thankyou, thankyou. And from the.

　　我觉得是珊珊还好。如果是安的话，我会感觉到很有压力。

　　首先，我们认为分手后的前任不能做朋友。维持与前任的关系可能会模糊边界，即使分手了，我们之间仍存在价值观差异、冲突或麻烦，这些问题在分手后并不会消失，所以关系会变得清晰且容易处理。其次，这种友谊会显著影响未来的亲密关系，尤其是在新关系的初期，现任可能会感到不适。

　　好的，谢谢。

　　那么，假设你们分手了，并且存在一些问题，你认为哪些问题会导致分手？我认为价值观的不一致是主要原因，比如对生活的看法、未来的规划等。既然你们已经证明彼此不合适，就不应该再做恋人。因为你们已经存在问题，再次成为恋人是不安全的，而且分手时边界已经明确，再尝试复合也无法证明彼此适合。

　　我认为，事实上，大多数时候分手是因为沟通存在障碍，我们无法在合适的时间有效沟通。所以你觉得有些恋人分手后可以做朋友？

　　对方辩友认为分手后的前任可以做朋友，我对此不敢苟同。首先，前任就像一根未愈合的伤疤，你们因某些原因分手，若总是让对方出现在自己的生活中，只会反复揭开旧伤，徒增烦恼。其次，这种关系极不稳定，过去的感情如同泼出去的水，应该彻底放下，重新寻找属于自己的幸福，就像倒掉旧水，换上新水，才能让心灵的杯子保持清澈。再者，将前任当作朋友会模糊界限，容易引发误会，让你在现任与前任之间摇摆不定，最终可能同时伤害到两个人，也不利于你个人的成长，这对未来的感情是非常不健康且不明智的，甚至可能对身心造成双重伤害。

　　可能有朋友会说，自己和前任只是纯粹的朋友关系。但“朋友”这个标签，真的能掩盖曾经的爱恋吗？这不过是自欺欺人罢了。你的真心是宝贵且脆弱的，应该全部投入到值得的人身上，去经营一段全新的感情，而不是让过去的阴影影响未来。所以，我坚信分手后的前任不能做朋友。

　　CISS called "can X lovers" which means you have a lot of lovers. So can you ask yourself: if none of your acts can be your friend, then I will say you are a little... too failed, with none becoming your friend.

　　This is the first thing: maybe you have a chance to build another relationship with your ex. It's an opportunity. Second, the topic is "Can ex-lovers be your friends after we break up?" The opposite view is "Ex-lovers cannot be your friends after breakup." Do you agree?

　　After a good breakup, if this is the case, do you agree? I don't think so. A lot of people can speak "thanks" after breakup, when they are calm with each other, and develop another kind of relationship. So can ex-lovers be your friends? Yes, probably. After a breakup, maybe it takes six months or six years, but I think we can be friends after that. That's what a friend is.

　　Friends can be resources in society. If your ex is a famous doctor and you need surgery for heartache, would you find him? So why not be friends after breakup? You used to be very intimate, know each other very well. Why waste the opportunity to build another kind of relationship after giving up the intimate one? I don't know why, but as resources, I suggest we can be friends.

　　Last but not least, what is love? We are talking about the bad things if you go back to be friends with your ex, but we should also talk about the benefits. But what I really want to talk about is: love is not just familiarity with someone, but also happiness. If he is happy, you can breakup the relationship but still be friends. Because you used to love each other, you can love each other in another way. Thank you.